Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United

“Hey, electric-breath!” —Iron Man

Today’s quick review: Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United. When Hydra’s attempts to harness the Hulk’s (Fred Tatasciore) energy fail, they accidentally create an energy being named Zzzax (Dee Bradley Baker) that feeds on energy and invades technology. Iron Man (Adrian Pasdar) comes to help, only for Zzzax to take control of his flying fortress. Iron Man and Hulk must fight their way through Iron Man’s entire arsenal to stop Zzzax before he can drain the power grid.

Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United is a CG animated superhero movie based on the Marvel characters. Iron Man & Hulk has the tone and attitude of a Saturday morning cartoon. The plot is simplistic, the dialogue is kid-friendly, and the production values are limited. But unlike the better superhero cartoons or animated features, Iron Man & Hulk offers very little to anyone outside of its target age range.

The plot borders on non-existent, with only two bland Hydra scientists, a generic energy being, and an Abomination cameo as villains. The film does a worse job of disguising the artificial logic of its fights than most superhero fiction: hits have little lasting impact, and outcomes are dependent on the needs of the plot rather than any in-universe logic.

The characters are weak as well, with an unusually insecure incarnation of Tony Stark and a weirdly coherent Hulk. Their dialogue is packed with attempted jokes, but none of them land. On the visual side, the CGI has limp physics, sluggish animation, rough facial modeling, and flat-looking props and particle effects. As a whole, the execution is outclassed by both the live-action and animated entries into the superhero genre.

Skip Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United unless you are watching with an enthusiastic child. The movie is just enough to appeal to children but lacks any sort of depth or charm for older audiences. Superhero fans hoping to find a hidden gem will be sorely disappointed.

4.8 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 4.0 for poor execution and limited appeal.

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