“What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?” —Thulsa Doom
Today’s quick review: Conan the Barbarian. After the destruction of his village and the murder of his parents, young Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is taken as a slave. Years of hard labor and pit-fighting transform him into a powerful warrior. When at last he earns his freedom, Conan sets out to take his revenge on Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), the man who killed his family, now the head of an insidious snake cult.
Conan the Barbarian is an action fantasy movie based on the classic stories by Robert E. Howard. Conan the Barbarian offers an unusual blend of bloody action and well-considered storytelling. The movie is an action flick at heart, with a straightforward plot and a hefty dose of graphic violence. But Conan the Barbarian also has a thoughtful side to it that lends an uncommon richness to its characters and world.
Conan the Barbarian’s most unexpected strengths are its script and its world-building. The plot is a linear tale of revenge, but its stages are varied and satisfying. The dialogue has all the awkwardness of faux-barbarian speech, but specific lines resonate deeply and capture the ethos of Conan’s savage world. The world itself has a vibrancy that many of its imitators lack, populated with not just faceless enemies but actual humans in their many forms.
Parts of the film will be more difficult to swallow. The costumes, special effects, and sets hold up quite well, but they lack the verisimilitude of their modern brethren. The film’s deliberate pacing, sentimental soundtrack, and trust in the viewer’s powers of observation are all unusual for the action genre. Conan himself cuts a peculiar figure: indomitable, vengeful, and inhumanly strong, but with a human side that rounds him out nicely.
Conan the Barbarian delivers on its main promise—violence, and plenty of it—but it also shows thought in its world-building and presentation. Give it a shot if you’re looking for a sword-and-sorcery with meat on its bones. Skip it if you prefer the raw adrenaline and advanced special effects of modern action films, or if you’re put off by gore, nudity, or tacky but enjoyable delivery.
6.9 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 for solid writing, an impressive world, and a healthy amount of action.