Kidnapping Mr. Heineken

Today’s quick review: Kidnapping Mr. Heineken. In Amsterdam, down-on-his-luck entrepreneur Cor Van Hout (Jim Sturgess) invites his friends to join him in a longshot scheme that will solve their money woes forever: kidnapping Freddy Heineken (Anthony Hopkins), the billionaire CEO of the Heineken beer company. The kidnapping goes smoothly, but as the days drag on with no response to their ransom demand, the kidnappers begin to have second thoughts.

Kidnapping Mr. Heineken is a crime drama based on a true story. Five amateur criminals hatch a plan to make them millions, only to learn that getting away with a kidnapping is trickier than they thought. Kidnapping Mr. Heineken gets most of the basics right: believable characters, competent direction, and a few interesting moral dilemmas. But that’s as far is it goes. The movie never really hits its stride, resulting in a mediocre watch.

Kidnapping Mr. Heineken gets caught between extremes. Its affable criminals and low degree of violence make it a prime candidate for a comedy, but there are few jokes to be had. The predicament the kidnappers wind up in could be the basis for a gripping drama, but none of its twists are sharp enough to drive the drama home. The dialogue, plot, and cinematography are serviceable but nothing special, leaving the film a lukewarm experience.

Fans of real-life crime stories may want to give Kidnapping Mr. Heineken a shot. In spite of a weak core, there’s enough in the way of basic competency for the film to work. Discerning viewers can do better. For a darker, funnier amateur kidnapping, check out Suicide Kings. For another crime drama based on real life, check out The Bank Job. For a more entertaining crime comedy in a similar vein, check out Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

6.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for decent execution missing any standout qualities to tie the movie together.

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