Author: Stan

“The things I do for my country.” —Xander Cage

Today’s quick review: xXx: Return of Xander Cage. Xander Cage (Vin Diesel), an extreme sports junkie turned government agent, comes out of retirement when Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson), his friend and mentor, is the target of a high-tech assassination attempt. To catch the culprit, Xander must track down Xiang (Donnie Yen), an operative with a similar set of skills, and recover Pandora’s Box, a device capable of taking control of any satellite.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage is an action movie and the third entry in the xXx series. The movie continues the saga of the xXx program, a top-secret NSA initiative to recruit special agents with unconventional backgrounds. Return of Xander Cage delivers over-the-top action with the series’ signature attitude, this time with an expanded cast of characters. However, the movie’s shaky plot and limited budget keep it from doing more with its setup.

Return of Xander Cage specializes in high-octane action with an extreme sports theme. The movie goes out of its way to give Xander hills to skate down, heights to jump off of, and motorcycles to ride, giving the stunts a unique flavor without deviating too far from bread-and-butter action. The movie also branches out into martial arts by bringing in Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa. The quantity and variety of action is enough to make the movie a fun time.

However, Return of Xander Cage suffers from the same flaws as the earlier movies in the series. For starters, Xander is not as slick as the movie makes him out to be. His rebellious lifestyle and extreme sports skills are pure wish fulfillment that the movie doesn’t even attempt to justify. The action itself has a few rough patches where the movie relies on cheap CGI to get the job done, and the plot is as flimsy as most popcorn action flicks.

But for all of its shortcomings, xXx: Return of Xander Cage has the potential to be a very fun watch for the right viewer. Anyone who enjoyed either of the last two xXx movies will get a kick out of the third, as will action fans who are willing to sit back and enjoy the ride. Fans who are looking for something more substantial, either in terms of story and character or in terms of polished action, may want to skip it.

For an action movie with the same attitude and more spy elements, try the original xXx. For another action movie sequel with a similar feel, try Mechanic: Resurrection. For a more polished, bigger-budget action series starring Vin Diesel, try the Fast & Furious movies. For popcorn action that operates on some of the same rules, try the Charlie’s Angels movies.

5.2 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for enjoyable action with some clear flaws.

Today’s quick review: Barely Lethal. Teenage assassin Megan Walsh (Hailee Steinfeld) has always dreamed of a normal childhood, away from Hardman (Samuel L. Jackson) and his relentless training. She finally gets her chance when a mission to capture Victoria Knox (Jessica Alba) gives her the chance to fake her own death. Adopting a cover identity as an exchange student, Megan moves in with a host family and sets out to learn what high school is all about.

Barely Lethal is a teen action comedy about a sixteen-year-old spy getting her first taste of a normal life. The movie follows Megan’s attempts to fit in, make friends, and find love while keeping her past a secret. Barely Lethal has a decent premise but lacks the creativity to follow up on it. It has enough character development and light humor to hold modest entertainment value, but its generic story and shaky follow-through keep it from standing out.

Barely Lethal has a strange relationship with other high school comedies. Megan forms her expectations about high school from movies like Mean Girls and is shocked when they prove not to be realistic. But Barely Lethal itself is no better. The packaging may be different, but it ends up dealing with the same themes of being yourself and not judging books by their covers as other movies in the genre, making it much less self-aware than it’s trying to be.

The spy side of the plot is also a weird fit with the rest of the movie. Megan’s unusual background is mostly played for laughs, with only the barest amount of detail given to Hardman and his school. The beginning and end of the movie are the only times when Megan’s skills are really relevant, and they are entirely unnecessary for the high school story the movie actually wants to tell. This makes the film’s premise something of a missed opportunity.

Even with these quirks, Barely Lethal does more or less what it sets out to do. Megan’s high school journey is not all that original, but it does hit the beats it needs to, especially when it comes to her relationship with her host Liz Larson (Dove Cameron). The movie’s spy elements are not all that compelling on their own, but they do lead to some decent fight choreography when Megan’s past catches up with her.

On the whole, Barely Lethal is a fine watch for those interested in a teen comedy, but it has little to set it apart from the other movies in the genre. It goes through the motions reasonably well, but it’s missing the heart and originality of the best the genre has to offer, and even its action-oriented premise largely goes to waste. Those who are curious may want to give it a shot, but most viewers would be better off looking elsewhere.

For a full-blown spy adventure with a similar setup, try Charlie’s Angels. For a more kid-friendly take on the spy genre, try Agent Cody Banks. For a much more violent movie about a teen assassin trying to fit in at school, try Kick-Ass 2. For a more iconic movie about life in high school, try Mean Girls, The Breakfast Club, or Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. For assassination antics at a high school reunion, try Grosse Pointe Blank.

5.4 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.0 for mixed execution of a generic story.

“If this was Hong Kong, you’d already be dead.” —Wah Sing Ku

Today’s quick review: Lethal Weapon 4. Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) of the LAPD are entering a new stage of their lives. Riggs and his girlfriend Lorna Cole (Rene Russo) are expecting their first child, while Murtaugh is about to beocme a grandfather. But the partners are distracted from their domestic affairs when they uncover a human trafficking ring, making an enemy of Wah Sing Ku (Jet Li), a merciless Chinese gangster.

Lethal Weapon 4 is an action movie and the final entry in the Lethal Weapon series. Riggs and Murtaugh return for one more case, this time trying to unravel the mystery behind a freighter full of illegal immigrants. Lethal Weapon 4 takes to new extremes the explosive stunts and colorful characters the series is known for. However, in doing so, it upsets the careful tonal balance the series depends on, leading to a shakier watch than before.

Lethal Weapon 4 has a slightly different tone than its predecessors. Riggs is beginning to show his age, slowing down physically and losing some of his manic edge. The emphasis on his limitations fits oddly with the movie’s decision to ramp up the action even further. Catastrophic chases, hand-to-hand combat, and a few gratuitous explosions give the movie more than its quota of action, but with the caveat that a lot of the new setups feel contrived.

As a result, Lethal Weapon 4 gets caught between trying to be more of an action movie and trying to be less of one. The pieces work well individually, but they don’t fit together as tightly as one would hope. The same is true for the story. Lethal Weapon 4 hits most of the beats it needs to and builds to a high-stakes finale, but it feels like it skips a few steps along the way. As such, the dramatic moments don’t have the impact they should have.

But in spite of these rough patches, Lethal Weapon 4 makes for a fun action movie and a fitting sendoff for the series. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are still a great pair, series veteran Joe Pesci and newcomer Chris Rock give the movie some easy sources of comedy, and Jet Li comes across as a genuinely intimidating villain. The movie’s assorted strengths are enough to make it a worthwhile pick for action fans and fans of the series.

Give Lethal Weapon 4 a shot if you’re in the mood for big stunts and some decent humor. The movie won’t have much to offer fans who prefer gritty action and believable stories, but those willing to indulge in some outrageous situations will have a good time. For another buddy cop comedy about a Chinese crime ring operating in Los Angeles, try Rush Hour. For an action movie about two police officers nearing retirement, try Bad Boys for Life.

6.6 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 to 7.0 for enjoyable action with a few rough edges.

“You think I could get a gun this time?” —Leo Getz

Today’s quick review: Lethal Weapon 3. With only a week left until retirement, Sgt. Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) of the LAPD is determined not to take any unnecessary chances. But Murtaugh is forced back in the line of fire when he and his partner Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) discover a crooked ex-cop (Stuart Wilson) trafficking high-powered weapons. Meanwhile, Riggs meets his match in Lorna Cole (Rene Russo), a hardheaded officer from Internal Affairs.

Lethal Weapon 3 is an action movie starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Mismatched partners Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh return, this time with the much more modest goal of getting Murtaugh safely to retirement. Lethal Weapon 3 continues the series tradition of explosive action backed by playful, character-driven comedy. However, the movie lacks some of the finesse of its predecessors, making it a solid action flick but not much more.

Lethal Weapon 3 struggles to hit the same balance as the first two entries in the series. The plot isn’t as tightly constructed, with a less memorable villain and action thrown in for its own sake. The scenarios are more outrageous, pushing the movie away from drama and more towards comedy. Lorna is a fine addition to the cast, a female counterpart to Riggs, but she isn’t given the chance to work her way into the group organically.

Still, these faults are minor compared to what the movive gets right. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are still a great duo, especially when they’re given the chance to show how far Riggs and Murtaugh’s relationship has come. Joe Pesci earns some laughs as the loudmouthed Leo Getz, now turned from money laundering to real estate. The action is loud and thrilling, with a couple of big stunts and a few moments of drama that land surprisingly well.

Lethal Weapon 3 remains a solid pick for fans of the action genre. It has all the basics in roughly the right proportions, with plenty of action, good comedy, and some memorable characters. Anyone looking for a popcorn watch should look no farther. However, the recipe is executed with a little less skill than before, making it harder for Lethal Weapon 3 to stand out from the crowd. As such, those looking for perfection should give it a pass.

For another iconic action series with similar merits, check out the Die Hard movies.

6.7 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 for quality action missing some of the polish of its predecessors.

“Guys like you don’t die on toilets.” —Martin Riggs

Today’s quick review: Lethal Weapon 2. Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) of the LAPD stumble onto something big when they find $1 million in gold coins as part of a drug bust. With the help of Leo Getz (Joe Pesci), a money launderer turned police witness, they trace the coins to the South African consulate. But their investigation runs around when their chief suspect, Arjen Rudd (Joss Ackland), claims diplomatic immunity.

Lethal Weapon 2 is an action movie starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Lethal Weapon 2 dives straight into another case for Riggs and Murtaugh, this time pitting them against a gang of killers operating under the protection of a foreign consulate. The same strong fundamentals as the first film make it a fun watch with a good mix of comedy and action. At the same time, a new investigation and a new face in Joe Pesci keep the story feeling fresh.

Once again, the high point of the movie is the pairing of Riggs and Murtaugh. What began as an unwilling partnership in the first film has evolved into a fast friendship that goes beyond their duties as police officers. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover play off each other effortlessly, packing their scenes together with organic conversation and friendly ribbing. Their loyalty to one another is the core of the movie and what will appeal most to action fans.

Lethal Weapon 2 builds on this rock-solid foundation with a reasonably intricate plot and a generous serving of action. The movie isn’t afraid to go big with its stunts, opening with an elaborate car chase before moving on to helicopter battles, shootouts, bomb scares, and more. On the story side, Lethal Weapon 2 is standard fare for the action genre but executed with an unusual amount of care. Everything in the story fits together tightly by the end.

Lethal Weapon 2 is a great pick for anyone in the mood for high-octane action and simple, enjoyable fun. It does not offer anything above and beyond the staples of the action genre, but its likable characters and high execution quality make it just the kind of movie certain action fans will adore. Those who prefer sober crime dramas or gritty, realistic action will want to steer well clear. For more in the same vein, try the Bad Boys movies.

7.2 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 to 7.5 for the action genre at its purest.

“Guess that’s the last time he’ll trust a cop.” —Jack Colt

Today’s quick review: Loaded Weapon 1. When his ex-partner (Whoopi Goldberg) is killed by an assassin (Tim Curry), Sgt. Wes Luger (Samuel L. Jackson), a by-the-book cop, must team up with Jack Colt (Emilio Estevez), a loose cannon with a hair trigger, to find out why. Their investigation takes them to a cookie factory owned by the sultry Miss Demeanor (Kathy Ireland) where the dastardly General Mortars (William Shatner) is hiding his drugs.

Loaded Weapon 1 is an action comedy starring Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson. It is a spoof of the action genre that takes aim at buddy cop movies like Lethal Weapon and its sequels. Direct scene-for-scene parodies, slapstick humor, a cavalcade of celebrity cameos, and a surprisingly coherent plot combine to make Loaded Weapon 1 a breezy, entertaining watch for the right viewer. Fans of ridiculous comedy will not want to miss it.

Loaded Weapon 1 has a comparable sense of humor to spoofs like Airplane! or The Naked Gun. The movie dials back the absurdity a little in exchange for sharper parody, putting a comedic spin on the classic scenes of the genre while weaving them together in a way that feels natural. The gags range from idiotic to brilliant, but nearly all of them hit the mark. Moreover, most of the jokes are unexpected, keeping the humor fresh throughout.

Loaded Weapon 1 sets out to do one thing, and it does it well. Solid writing, enthusiastic performances, and a knack for picking the right scenes to parody make it one of the hidden gems of the comedy genre. Fans of 90s action movies, absurd comedies, or any of the movie’s cast will want to give Loaded Weapon 1 a shot. Those who dislike lowbrow humor and pop culture references will want to steer clear.

For another parody in the same vein, try Hot Shots! or Top Secret!. For a modern parody of the action genre, try The Other Guys. For the original material, try the Lethal Weapon series.

6.2 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 for spot-on comedy for the right audience.

Today’s quick review: Wrongfully Accused. When violinist Ryan Harrison (Leslie Nielsen) is wrongfully accused of murder, he becomes a fugitive from the law to clear his name. His search for the truth lands him even deeper in trouble, tangling him up with a woman with a secret (Melinda McGraw), putting him in the crosshairs of the victim’s wife (Kelly LeBrock), and making him the center of a nationwide manhunt led by a relentless lawman (Richard Crenna).

Wrongfully Accused is a comedy that spoofs the action thriller genre, taking aim at every cliche and iconic moment it has to offer. Leslie Nielsen stars as Ryan Harrison, the victim of a ludicrous frame job. Wrongfully Accused follows directly in the footsteps of movies like Airplane!, packing in as many slapstick gags and references as it possibly can. However, the quality of its script and humor put it a few steps below the best the genre has to offer.

Wrongfully Accused scratches the same itch for absurd comedy as films like Airplane!, Mafia!, and Hot Shots!. The movie is an endless stream of one-off sight gags, slapstick routines, and parodies, using the comedic equivalent of free association to deliver joke after joke. The sheer volume of jokes works in the movie’s favor. Even thought the individual gags are not very preciseley aimed, a few of them are bound to hit the mark.

But the low hit rate is what sets Wrongfully Accused apart from the better movies of this type. Wrongfully Accused never tries to play off the viewer’s expectations. Instead, it tends to spit out jokes as fast as possible, with little setup and minimal attempt at timing. This leads to flat humor where the best jokes get buried by the worst. The plot is also hard to follow, a messy pastiche of The Fugitive, Double Jeopardy, and other thrillers.

Wrongfully Accused is a decent pick for fans of ridiculous comedies who don’t have their expectations set too high. In spite of its imperfections, Wrongfully Accused is silly and creative enough to earn some good laughs, especially for those willing to overlook the jokes that miss their mark. But viewers looking for Leslie Nielsen’s best work, a more cohesive story, or simply more focused humor will want to look elsewhere.

For a more memorable classic of the genre, try Airplane!, Top Secret!, or The Naked Gun. For an absurd comedy of similar caliber, try Mafia!, Spy Hard, or the later Naked Gun movies.

6.2 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.0 to 6.5 for fun humor held back by uneven quality and an especially disjointed plot.

“You know, in America funerals are in English.” —Commandant Lassard

Today’s quick review: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow. When a video game released by Russian crime boss Konstantine Konali (Ron Perlman) takes the world by storm, Commandant Rakov (Christopher Lee) of the Moscow police calls in his American counterpart, Eric Lassard (George Gaynes), to help with the investigation. Captain Harris (G.W. Bailey) and Lassard’s other officers must outwit Konali to gather the evidence they need to make an arrest.

Police Academy: Mission to Moscow is a police comedy and the seventh and final movie in the Police Academy series. As the title implies, Mission to Moscow takes the graduates of the Academy to Russia, where new mishaps await. The movie shakes up the series formula somewhat, with a few new faces, a pared-down cast, and a plot with a clear purpose in mind. However, shaky fundamentals when it comes to pacing and comedy hamper the movie badly.

Mission to Moscow takes a few steps in the right direction. Ron Perlman and Christopher Lee gives the series not only some fresh blood but some welcome acting talent. The reduced cast, less antagonistic role for Captain Harris, and new setting help break the series out of its old patterns. And while the plot is flimsy, it does take the movie from start to finish, giving it a cohesion that some of the other Police Academy films lack.

But Mission to Moscow is still riddled with problems. Newcomer Kyle Connors (Charlie Schlatter) is another swing and a miss, with a bland personality and an arc that doesn’t go anywhere. Like the rest of the series, Mission to Moscow gets sidetracked easily, veering off into loosely connected comedy skits rather than trying to keep up its momentum. The humor is also dicey, with an over-reliance on gags about Russia that quickly wear thin.

Police Academy: Mission to Moscow is a flawed comedy that may appeal to fans of the series but is outclassed by other films in the genre. Mission to Moscow has a few redeeming qualities that could have carried the film under other circumstances, but as it stands, neither its humor nor its story is enough to make it a memorable watch. Viewers who enjoy the characters might appreciate it as one last outing, but most viewers should steer clear.

For a raunchier police comedy with an emphasis on cultural humor, try Super Troopers 2.

3.6 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 5.0 for a couple of decent ideas with poor follow-through.

“Well, it seemed like a good plan at the time.” —Commandant Lassard

Today’s quick review: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege. With the city facing a record-breaking crime wave, Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) and his officers (Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow, David Graf, Marion Ramsey, Leslie Easterbrook, Bruce Mahler, and Matt McCoy) are assigned to Wilson Heights to search for the culprits. The new arrivals are met with hostility by Captain Harris (G.W. Bailey), who does everything in his power to make them fail.

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege is, like its predecessors, a police comedy with an ensemble cast. The Police Academy graduates are united once more to stop a criminal mastermind who has the city at his mercy. The movie draws its humor from its varied cast, quirky situations, and the ongoing prank war between Captain Harris and his colleagues. But in spite of some smarter decisions, City Under Siege still struggles to earn laughs.

City Under Siege continues the series trend of marginal improvements in structure that are offset by predictable humor and a lack of heart. The movie does a cleaner job of managing its characters than some of the previous entries in the series, and it keeps the sprawling cast to a tractable number. But the jokes are recycled, the performances are mediocre, and the movie as a whole is missing the zany energy of the series at its best.

In terms of story, City Under Siege is a slight step up from the series status quo. The movie gets off to a stronger start, with an actual threat for the officers to face and one or two big questions for the story to focus on. Even so, the story is a flimsy one. There’s not enough depth for it to be truly interesting, even by comedy standards, and many of the scenes feel out of place, disjointed comedy routines that add little to the film.

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege has a few points in its favor, but ultimately it suffers from the same problems as the other Police Academy sequels. Fans of the characters will get some enjoyment out of it, and the plot gives it a sense of structure that the last two films lack. But these aren’t enough to make up for middling humor, one-note characters, and a story that isn’t original enough to carry the film.

For a much more refined comedy about a bumbling police inspector, try The Pink Panther or A Shot in the Dark.

4.4 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 5.0 for repetitive humor and weak execution, even on its better ideas.

“Now, which one of you guys was resisting arrest?” —Sergeant Tackleberry

Today’s quick review: Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach. With Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) coming up on retirement, Captain Harris (G.W. Bailey) sets his sights on Lassard’s position at the head of the Metropolitan Police Academy. Standing in his way are Lassard’s loyal graduates (Bubba Smith, David Graf, Michael Winslow, Leslie Easterbrook, and Marion Ramsey), who are determined to make sure his retirement goes off without a hitch.

Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach is a police comedy with an ensemble cast. Assignment: Miami Beach picks up with the graduates of the Police Academy as they accompany Lassard on the final trip of his career: a police convention in Miami Beach where he is to honored for his accomplishments. The movie regains the sense of proportion of the earlier movies in the series, but that isn’t enough to save it from stale jokes and a meandering plot.

Assignment: Miami Beach scales back the cast significantly compared to the last two entries in the series. Only the core cast returns, plus two or three new faces who don’t take up much screentime. The result is a more streamlined comedy that gives its characters the chance to breathe. Even so, Assignment: Miami Beach still has a massive cast and not much for them to do. Fans of the series shouldn’t expect any major changes to the status quo.

Assignment: Miami Beach has a slightly different style of delivery than the previous films. The types of jokes are still the same, but the characters seem more aware that they’re part of a comedy routine. This leads to cleaner delivery but less energy, as nearly everyone stops to listen to whoever has center stage. The jokes themselves are nothing new, while the plot suffers from the same lack of purpose as the previous entries in the series.

All in all, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach is a step back in the right direction for the series, but it is missing the novelty and energy to be a truly worthwhile watch. Fans of the Police Academy series may want to give it a shot simply to see the characters in action once more, but those who have seen any of the other movies will already get the gist. Those hoping for a sharp plot or memorable gags should steer clear.

For a more inspired police comedy, try one of the Naked Gun movies. For a more successful comedy with the same spirit, try Animal House or Caddyshack. For similar gags delivered with more zeal, try the original Police Academy.

4.6 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 5.0 for modest comedy without much force behind it.