Author: Stan

Today’s quick review: Standoff. When a girl named Bird (Ella Ballentine) witnesses a multiple homicide, she becomes the next target of the hitman responsible (Laurence Fishburne). Bird flees to a nearby farmhouse, where Carter Greene (Thomas Jane), a veteran mourning the death of his son, promises to protect her. But with only one shotgun shell left and no way to call for help, their survival depends on the outcome of a lengthy standoff with the hitman.

Standoff is a minimalistic thriller set primarily in a single house. The premise is simple but promising: Carter and Bird are trapped upstairs, while the hitman Sade prowls around downstairs. Neither Carter nor Sade can safely get to the other, so they resort to mind games, insults, and every trick at their disposal to gain the upper hand. As such, Standoff consists of long stretches of dialogue punctuated by brief moments of violence.

Standoff makes for a heavy watch. Carter is suicidal, Sade is murderous, and Bird gets exposed to plenty of trauma for a girl her age. Throw in the movie’s graphic violence and the tension of a protracted confrontation, and Standoff falls squarely on the gritty, realistic end of the action spectrum. The emotional arc is passable, but it’s missing the extra spark needed to be truly moving.

Standoff’s main draw is Laurence Fishburne. Sade has a weighty presence from the first moment he steps onscreen. Fishburne captures the menace necessary for Sade to feel like a threat, as well as the unnerving attitude that makes the character interesting. The result is a surprisingly satisfying villain whose taunts and mind games carry the movie.

Beyond Fishburne’s performance, Standoff is a decent but unexceptional thriller. By its very premise, the plot is static. There are no real twists, and the situation changes only incrementally. Standoff has less action than similar movies, saving it for the few moments when it really matters. Thomas Jane and Ella Ballentine give fine performances, but their characters are not especially memorable.

Give Standoff a shot if you are looking for something dark and tense. Laurence Fishburne’s performance gives the movie a unique selling point, but Standoff has enough flaws that it will only really appeal to fans of budget thrillers. Skip it if you are looking for a movie with more polish, payoff, or action. For a similar premise, a similar budget, and more action, check out Security. For a more fulfilling action thriller, check out 16 Blocks.

6.0 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for a decent premise and an impressive villain held back by a limited plot progression and minimal action.

Today’s quick review: Security. Out of work and desperate, veteran Eddie Deacon (Antonio Banderas) takes a job as a security guard at a shopping mall. His first night on the job erupts into violence when Charlie (Ben Kingsley), a hitman for a powerful gang, and his men chase Jamie (Katherine de la Rocha), a teenage girl set to testify against them, into Eddie’s mall.

Security is a budget action film that pits five guards and one teenage girl against a ruthless team of assassins. The setup is simple: Eddie uses his combat training to mount an improvised defense of the mall with the help of his fellow guards. Security offers fairly good action, a premise that is interesting enough to hook the viewer, and a passable plot progression. Thin characters and lack of innovation keep the movie from doing more.

To the movie’s credit, it delivers some satisfying action. Eddie mows through the attackers with all the efficiency of an action hero, but the combat never loses its sense of grim desperation. Security wears the trappings of a gritty action thriller, but underneath it has plenty in common with more traditional action movies. The two strains blend together about as well as can be expected in a movie of its caliber.

Where Security’s low budget shows is in its character development. Eddie is set up as a haunted character with a rocky relationship with his family, but his background is never explored in depth. The same goes for Jamie, whose past with the gang would have been easy dramatic fodder, and Charlie, who comes across as a single-minded villain rather than a character in his own right. The characters’ relationships are likewise simple and briefly sketched.

Security makes for a fine watch when you are in the mood for straightforward action and a serious tone. The movie lacks the extra care needed to appeal to anyone but action fans, but it does reasonably well with the tools at its disposal. For a better action movie with similar types of conflict, check out Die Hard. For a family comedy with a similar premise, check out Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

5.7 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for being a decent but unexceptional action flick.

“You’re luggage!” —John Kruger

Today’s quick review: Eraser. U.S. Marshal John Kruger (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is the best in the business at keeping federal witnesses safe. When Lee Cullen (Vanessa Williams), an employee at defense contractor Cyrez, uncovers evidence of treason, John must protect her from a deadly cover-up. But Cyrez’s influence reaches even farther than John expects, and he soon finds himself framed for murder and on the run from his own colleagues.

Eraser is an action movie in the 90s mold. Eraser follows the usual action recipe to a tee: guns, explosions, and feats of strength, with little in the way of plot or character. Eraser’s action is competent but uninspired, offering spectacle but not much in the way of heart or credibility. Schwarzenegger remains fun to watch as he tears through his enemies, but the extra layer of attitude that accents his best roles is missing.

Eraser has scant bits of character to distinguish it from other action movies. The futuristic railgun developed by Cyrez lets the movie indulge in larger explosions and snatches of early CGI. John’s work for Witness Protection comes with an unorthodox set of techniques for protecting his clients and a network of former clients he can call on for help. However, Eraser does not make anything special of these ideas, and their potential remains largely untapped.

Give Eraser a shot if you are in the mood for straightforward, 90s-style action. Eraser has enough in the way of action to be a decent popcorn watch, but it fails to stand out from a crowded field. Skip it if you are looking for something engaging or innovative. For more distinctive action movies in a similar vein, check out Predator, Total Recall, or Lethal Weapon.

6.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for decent action but little else.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” —Ben

Today’s quick review: The Graduate. The summer after his graduation from college, Ben Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) strikes up an affair with Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft), a friend of the family. The illicit relationship comes to a nasty end when Ben develops feelings for her daughter Elaine (Katharine Ross), but the ghost of the affair threatens to undermine Ben’s more fulfilling relationship with Elaine.

The Graduate is a comedy about romance, purpose, and maturity. The Graduate follows Ben through an uncertain period in his life, as his own lack of direction leads him to pursue a dangerous relationship with an older woman. The style of comedy is indirect; the humor emerges naturally from the precarious situations Ben finds himself in, without scripted jokes or outrageous characters.

The Graduate is most notable for its characters. Ben Braddock is a relatable figure, an aimless college graduate with a nervous streak and a knack for asking the wrong questions. His early interactions with Mrs. Robinson are almost painfully awkward, but over the course of the movie he comes into his own. The man he becomes has his own set of flaws and hang-ups, but his growth is subtle and rewarding.

For her part, Mrs. Robinson is cold and domineering, but more vulnerable than she first lets on. Like Ben, she is a reserved character whose thoughts are often left to the viewer to infer. The two realistic leads make The Graduate an unusually grounded comedy that still captures the peculiarity of life. The tone of the movie is set by an excellent, if slightly overplayed, Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack.

Give The Graduate a shot if you are looking for something well-written, awkward, and insightful. The personal nature of the story and the lack of overt humor make The Graduate a dry watch compared to other comedies, but the movie’s characters and writing are strong enough to make it worthwhile. Skip it if you are looking for a more energetic comedy or a more traditional love story.

8.0 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 to 7.5 for interesting themes and plausible characters.

Today’s quick review: The Inspector General. Too honest to make it as a snake oil salesman, Georgi (Danny Kaye) ends up broke, starving, and set to be hanged. Unexpected salvation comes when the town officials mistake him for the Inspector General, an official tasked with rooting out corruption. Georgi wants nothing more than to leave with his neck, but his old associate Yakov (Walter Slezak) convinces him to keep up the ruse in hopes of doing some good.

The Inspector General is a musical comedy in the classical mold. Danny Kaye puts his broad talents to work as Georgi, a failed huckster with a knack for singing and an unfortunate honest streak. Witty musical numbers, a plot driven by coincidence and misunderstanding, and Danny Kaye’s able performance make The Inspector General an enjoyable watch reminiscent of the Marx Brothers or Gilbert and Sullivan.

However, The Inspector General is missing the brilliance of the great comedies. The movie relies heavily on Kaye’s faces, voices, and slapstick and less on his singing, dancing, and patter. The songs are clever in places, but they are padded too long and are easy to forget. The plot lacks the extra complexity typically found in comedies of its style, and the romance, which should have been an easy inclusion, is woefully underdeveloped.

The Inspector General remains a charming watch for fans of classic comedy, but it is a marked step down from the best of the era. Give it a shot if you are in the mood for a light comedy with a musical flourish. Less enthusiastic fans of the era would be better off trying The Court Jester, a more polished Danny Kaye musical.

6.9 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 for skillful but flawed comedy.

Today’s quick review: Paradox. As part of a time travel experiment funded by the mysterious Mr. Landau (Malik Yoba), Jim (Adam Huss) travels one hour into the future, only to discover the lab in ruins, his colleagues dead, and a killer still on the loose. Returning to the present, Jim warns the others, launching a desperate attempt to uncover the identity of the killer and change a future that may already be set in stone.

Paradox is a sci-fi whodunit with a time travel twist. Trapped in a lab with a murderer, a time machine, and a short list of suspects, Jim and his fellow scientists must use the few clues at their disposal to piece together what is going on. Paradox manages an interesting setup, but its follow-through is lacking. The mystery proves to be less interesting than it first appears, and the film’s most interesting tensions simply fizzle out.

Early on, Paradox’s flaws are all typical for a budget sci-fi movie: subpar acting, clumsy dialogue, and unlikable characters. An intriguing premise holds the movie together for a while, but once Paradox starts giving answers, it breaks down quickly. The last third of the film is plagued by one ill-conceived revelation after another, and the movie hinges on a few dramatic moments that it lacks the acting or writing talent to carry out properly.

The result is a time travel movie that holds slight value for sci-fi fans but little for anyone else. The mechanics of the early plot are promising, a closed-environment mystery with a dangerous touch of predestination. But Paradox squanders its modest potential, drawing too much attention to its weaknesses and delivering a limp ending. Most viewers would be better off skipping it, barring some perverse enjoyment of the movie’s decay.

For a somewhat more competent budget time travel movie, check out ARQ. For a well-written minimalistic mystery without the science fiction component, check out Exam.

4.6 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 5.0 for a decent premise and poor execution.

Today’s quick review: Officer Downe. Officer Gable (Tyler Ross), a rookie with the LAPD, receives the challenge of his career when he is assigned as backup for Officer Downe (Kim Coates), an indestructible supercop. Unlike his colleagues, Gable sees Downe as more than just a killing machine. But his faith in Downe is put to the test when the Fortune 500, the eccentric cabal atop LA’s criminal hierarchy, takes drastic measures to stop Downe for good.

Officer Downe is a stylized action movie with an over-the-top attitude and a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. Officer Downe is the action movie ideal taken to its illogical conclusion. The movie celebrates an exaggerated, brutal form of justice, enacted by tough-as-nails police officers against a flamboyant, violent, and unrepentant criminal class.

Officer Downe’s style is not for everyone, or even for most. The movie is packed with excessive swearing, plentiful gore, and crude sexual moments. The villains are cartoonish and unhinged, and Downe himself is little better. Officer Downe aims for a very particular aesthetic, one that skirts the boundaries of good taste to tap into the distorted excess at the far end of the action genre.

Whether it hits its mark is an open question. Officer Downe lacks the quality of execution to sell its skewed vision the way movies like Kill Bill or Sin City do. Its inventions are striking but superficial; its cinematography is far from brilliant; and what emotional weight it has rests on the flimsy shoulders of Officer Gable. But the movie embraces its punchy attitude like few others, and it makes for a strangely entertaining watch.

Officer Downe makes for an entertaining, peculiar, and almost unique watch for the right kind of viewer. Officer Downe offers a specific kind of schlock that will appeal to some and utterly fail to impress most others. Skip it if you are looking for exceptional action, a compelling story, or restraint. Movies that go to similarly absurd extremes include Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, The Spirit, and The Man with the Iron Fists.

4.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for flawed execution of a ridiculous vision; your score will vary drastically depending on your tastes.

Today’s quick review: Gone in 60 Seconds. Maindrian Pace (H.B. Halicki) runs a car theft operation from his junkyard, outfitting stolen cars with real serial numbers before selling them. When he takes a job to deliver over forty high-end cars in less than a week, he and his team must pull out all the stops. But one car on his list proves troublesome: Eleanor, a yellow Mustang that he can’t seem to steal.

Gone in 60 Seconds is an action movie that goes all in on its car chases. The passion project of car enthusiast H.B. Halicki, Gone in 60 Seconds is an amateur production that offers little in the way of plot, character, or acting ability. Instead the focus is cars: the movie showcases a remarkable collection of vehicles and wrecks a stunning number of them.

The centerpiece of Gone in 60 Seconds is a sprawling car chase that lasts over half an hour. The sheer scale and destruction of the chase are impressive, with a host of minor collisions and a handful of major ones. However, its excessive length and inexpert presentation keep it from being an unqualified hit. The chase scene has its moments, but contrived scenarios, a few lulls, and minimal story payoff all hold it back.

Beyond its cars, Gone in 60 Seconds does not have too much going for it. The plot is just a series of car thefts, many of them as simple as walking up to the car and taking it. The acting is consistently flat, and the movie has a bad habit of relying on voice-overs rather than showing its characters talking. It is an honest effort, and one that pays off in a watchable but insubstantial story with a few fun moments.

Watch Gone in 60 Seconds if you are in the mood for a down-to-earth sort of spectacle. Fans of car crashes should check it out, if only for the novelty. Those looking for expert storytelling or cinematography should look elsewhere. Movies in a similar vein include the original version of The Italian Job, the modern action remake of Gone in 60 Seconds, and the Fast & Furious franchise, although none are quite as authentic.

6.5 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.0 to 6.5 for a credible but amateur effort and an ambitious chase scene.

Today’s quick review: Synchronicity. To get the funding he needs to continue his time travel research, Jim Beale (Chad McKnight) opens up a wormhole to the future so he can send back proof the machine works. The experiment yields a flower from the future, afflicts Jim with strange headaches, and leaves Jim and his colleagues with a puzzle they cannot solve, one that is compounded by the appearance of Abby (Brianne Davis), a woman somehow connected to the experiment.

Synchronicity is a time travel mystery with a limited budget and decent execution. Synchronicity is a mixture of compelling ideas and conventional ones. The core paradox of the movie is unusual—bootstrapping a time machine by gambling on its future completion—but the particulars are standard sci-fi fare. Competent writing, a distinct visual and musical style, and well-fit puzzle pieces will give sci-fi fans something to chew on.

Unfortunately, Synchronicity does not stick its landing. The mystery unfolds well up to a point, but the last batch of revelations only serves to deepen the confusion. Like the rest of the movie, the ending toys with interesting ideas, but it lacks the coherence of its build-up and leaves several key questions unaddressed or ambiguous. To top it all off, the emotional arc of the movie depends on a forced romance between Jim and Abby that never quite clicks.

Synchronicity is worth a watch for sci-fi buffs in the mood for a time travel mystery. The plot has enough going on to engage fans of the genre, although discerning viewers will pick holes in the plot logic and spot a few missed opportunities. Skip it unless you are a fan of time travel for its own sake; neither the characters nor the emotional beats are enough to carry the movie without the added draw of a time travel plot.

For a better-handled take on a similar premise, check out Primer.

5.5 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for a promising but mishandled plot.

Today’s quick review: Charade. When Regina Lampert (Audrey Hepburn) returns from vacation to her home in Paris, she learns that her wealthy, secretive husband has been murdered and that $250 thousand in his possession has gone missing. Peter Joshua (Cary Grant), a helpful stranger, offers to help her get back on her feet, but the two soon run up against the late Mr. Lampert’s shady associates, who are convinced that Regina has the money.

Charade is a classic crime movie that delivers equal measures of suspense, romance, and comedy. Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant make an excellent duo, both romantically and as amateur sleuths. Audrey Hepburn plays Regina, an innocent yet resourceful young woman who is almost in over her head. Cary Grant makes for a suave but standoffish Peter, and together they search for the missing money and a solution to Regina’s problems.

Charade’s greatest strength is its writing. The mystery features a tangled web of intrigue, sound plot logic, and several interesting twists. The dialogue between Regina and Peter is romance in the classic style: witty, combative, and sweet. However, the writing requires a certain amount of investment to appreciate. Followed closely, it sparkles, but a casual viewer will miss drama and humor alike.

Fans of the classics should give Charade a try. Those who appreciate nuanced relationships, banter, and mystery will find Charade to be a solid, satisfying hit. Those who prefer overt action or comedy or dislike classic romance should give it a miss. For an Audrey Hepburn heist movie in a similar vein, check out How to Steal a Million. For a Cary Grant equivalent, check out To Catch a Thief.

8.0 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.5 for strong writing and an enjoyable pair of leads.