Month: January 2024

“When all else fails, we don’t.” —General Hawk

Today’s quick review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. When the Baroness (Sienna Miller) ambushes their convoy and steals its cargo of experimental warheads, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlan Wayans) join G.I. Joe, an elite team of soldiers led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), to get the weapons back. Their mission uncovers a sprawling plot headed by arms dealer James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston) to hold the world hostage.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is an action adventure movie that adapts the G.I. Joe franchise for the big screen. Two American soldiers enter a world of advanced technology, skilled operatives, and ninjas to recover a weapon that could destroy any city on Earth. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra features a lively ensemble cast, flashy action, and a plot that covers a lot of ground. Even so, the movie’s many gambles will not pay off for some viewers.

The Rise of Cobra’s greatest strength is its eclectic, endearing world. Taking modern-day military action as a base, G.I. Joe throws in every idea it can think of that will lead to a fun action sequence, from hyperkinetic armor to optic camouflage to underwater missile bases. The attitude of heroism and adventure papers over a lot of the inconsistencies, leading to a popcorn action movie with a much larger toolkit than most others.

However, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra has some sharp drawbacks. The plot suffers from trying to cram too many characters and too many twists into a short amount of time. The decision to tie together the origins of Duke, the Baroness, and several other characters leads to strained plot logic. The movie also plays fast and loose with the rules of its world, relying more on flashy technological gimmicks than bread-and-butter action scenes.

How much you get out of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra will depend on how willing you are to roll with its punches. For the right viewer, the movie is a fun dose of popcorn action that offers plenty of spectacle and never takes itself too seriously. But hardcore fans of the series will find that the movie takes too many liberties with its source material, and more critical viewers may be put off by its eclectic world and loose plot logic.

For a sequel loosely set in the same continuity, try G.I. Joe: Retaliation. For a similar blend of military action, maniacal villains, and science fiction, try Captain America: The First Avenger or Captain America: The Winter Soldier. For a somewhat more grounded movie about a rogue team of soldiers, try The A-Team or The Losers.

[5.8 out of 10 on IMDB](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046173/). I give it a 6.5 to 7.0 for enjoyable action that requires some heavy buy-in.

“As long as we obey the laws of physics, we’ll be fine.” —Tej

Today’s quick review: F9: The Fast Saga. In response to a distress call from Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell), Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) come out of retirement to recover Project Aries, a device that can hack into any computer on the planet. Dom and Letty reunite with their crew—Tej (Ludacris), Roman (Tyrese Gibson), and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel)—to track down the thief: Dom’s estranged brother Jakob (John Cena).

F9: The Fast Saga is an action thriller and the ninth mainline entry in the Fast & Furious series. F9 follows in the footsteps of its predecessors: a high-speed adventure that emphasizes fast cars, major plot twists, and improbable stunts. The story reveals a new chapter of Dom’s past, showing the death of his father (J.D. Pardo) and the falling out with his brother Jakob that set them both on different paths.

First and foremost, F9: The Fast Saga delivers action. Even though it retains the series’ heavy focus on cars and racing, it finds creative ways to keep the action fresh, with new stunts, new gadgets, and new frontiers for Dom and his crew. Just seeing what the movie comes up with will be a treat for action fans, and the series continues to top itself with the scale and the imagination of its action.

The other great strength of the film is its comedy. Tej and Roman take center stage here, falling into the easy rhythm established over the course of five previous films. F9 uses its humor to balance out its destructive action scenes and melodramatic plot twists, keeping the tone light and smoothing over any issues with the audience’s suspension of disbelief.

F9 has the same drawbacks as the other films in the series, only magnified. The series’ plot hangs together loosely at the best of times, and F9 goes even farther with continuity revisions and hidden secrets. The story achieves its two main objectives—justifying the action and deepening Dom’s ties with his family—but audiences who are even the slightest bit critical will find plenty of plot holes, improbable moments, and illogical writing.

Fans of the Fast & Furious franchise will get just what they want out of F9: The Fast Saga. The movie closely follows the formula laid down in the last few entries in the series, and the movie swings for the fences with its cast, its plot twists, and its spectacle. That said, anyone who is tired of the formula, never enjoyed it to begin with, or prefers stories with more narrative weight and internal consistency will find that it misses the mark.

[5.2 out of 10 on IMDB](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5433138/). I give it a 7.0 to 7.5 for unadulterated popcorn action.

Today’s quick review: Old. With their marriage failing, Prisca (Vicky Krieps) and Guy Cappa (Gael Garcia Bernal) take their children Maddox (Alexa Swinton) and Trent (Nolan River) for a getaway vacation on a tropical island. The resort manager (Gustaf Hammarsten) directs them to a private beach with some other guests. But when they get there, they are shocked when the children begin to age rapidly before their eyes.

Old is a thriller written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Tourists on a tropical vacation find themselves trapped on a beach where time flows at an accelerated rate. Unable to make it back through the cliffs surrounding the beach, the Cappas and a handful of other guests frantically look for answers while enduring a series of strange occurrences. The movie has an intriguing mystery, but its overall execution can be rough.

Old’s premise has eerie ramifications. The simplest of these is age. Over the course of hours, Maddox and Trent age years, skipping past entire phases of their mental and emotional development. The stress of the situation also takes its toll on the other survivors, who begin to take rash actions in their search for a way off the beach. All of this contributes to a fine sense of tension and a mystery with the right number of clues.

However, the way the story plays out is clunky. The dialogue contains a lot of flat exposition and baseless conjecture, which is only partially justified by the odd personalities of some of the characters. The story has a habit of bouncing from one crisis to the next without giving them a chance to breathe. And while the movie has some nice commentary on family and aging, it is drowned out by the moment-to-moment tumult of the plot.

Old is a fascinating thought experiment that ultimately falls short as a thriller. Fans of M. Night Shyamalan will appreciate its premise and some of the themes it touches on, but more critical viewers will get caught on the foibles of its execution. Skip Old if you are expecting a polished and hard-hitting thriller. If you have a taste for thought-provoking and unsettling science fiction, give it a try.

For another mystery thriller from M. Night Shyamalan, check out The Sixth Sense, Signs, or The Village. For a less successful attempt at a similar atmosphere of abstract dread, try The Happening. For another science fiction movie that explores the differential passage of time, try Time Trap or Inception.

[6.0 out of 10 on IMDB](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10954652/). I give it a 6.0 to 6.5 for a promising mystery with bumpy execution.