Month: March 2022

Today’s quick review: Anaconda. Filmmaker Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez) gets a career-making opportunity when Dr. Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz) hires her to direct a documentary on a mythical Amazonian tribe. With her cameraman Danny (Ice Cube) and a small crew in tow, they set off down the Amazon River. But when the expedition wanders into the territory of a man-eating anaconda, they must turn to Paul Serone (Jon Voight), a shady snake hunter, to survive.

Anaconda is an adventure movie with horror elements about a film crew’s deadly encounter with a gargantuan snake. Deep into the Amazon when disaster strikes, Terri and the others must choose between abandoning their journey and trusting their lives to a mysterious stranger. Anaconda serves up a mix of adventure movie peril and campy monster thrills. However, mediocre scares and dated special effects keep the movie from reaching its full potential.

Anaconda has a few things going for it, including its setup, its characters, and its setting. The movie does a capable job of setting the stage, luring Terri and the others away from civilization and into the territory of the snake. The cast has some nice variety to it, with distinct personalities that bounce off one another well. Terri and the others aren’t especially deep, but they are enough to make the story engaging for a receptive audience.

The weak link in the chain is the anaconda itself. It works just fine as a plot device: an unseen menace that threatens to pick off the film crew one by one. But as an onscreen presence it leaves something to be desired. The special effects for the snake are fair for the time but haven’t aged well, and the scares are less shocking than the creature deserves. The movie also has a campy streak that shows in a few places and compromises the tone.

How much you get out of Anaconda will depend on what you want out of it. Those looking for hardcore horror or groundbreaking special effects will find it to be a dull watch that brings nothing new to the table. But less exacting viewers who are simply in the mood for a survival thriller will find it to be surprisingly watchable, thanks to the effort it puts into its story and characters.

For an even grimmer survival drama set on a river starring Jon Voight, try Deliverance. For a sci-fi action movie about a group of survivors facing an invisible threat in a jungle, try Predator. For a goofier thriller about deadly snakes, try Snakes on a Plane.

4.8 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.0 to 6.5 for a decent story without the suspense it needs to leave a lasting impression.

Today’s quick review: Primal. Hunter Frank Walsh (Nicolas Cage) has just made the catch of a lifetime: a rare white jaguar, fresh from the rainforests of Brazil. Now all he has to do to cash in is transport it back to his buyers in Mexico. The only catch is that Frank is sharing a ship with Richard Loffler (Kevin Durand), a psychotic killer being taken back to the U.S. for trial. When Loffler gets loose, the whole ship becomes his hunting ground.

Primal is a survival thriller about an unscrupulous hunter and a deranged murderer trapped on a ship full of dangerous animals. Frank must form an uneasy alliance with a Navy doctor (Famke Janssen), a U.S. Marshal (LaMonica Garrett), and the members of the crew to catch Loffler before he can pick them off one by one. In spite of its perilous premise, Primal’s lackluster characters and dry presentation style make it a less than thrilling watch.

Primal goes through the motions of a certain style of thriller. It has the confined environment, the menacing villain, and the desperate survivors common to other survival movies. It even has a unique angle in Walsh’s hunting background and his menagerie of deadly animals who have gotten loose. But what the movie lacks is passion. Everything from the thrills to the visuals to the character interactions feels like a token effort.

This is most noticeable with Frank Walsh himself. Walsh is meant to be a selfish man who learns to care about others, but the key points of his character development get lost in the shuffle. Nicolas Cage turns in a halfhearted performance that captures Walsh’s abrasive side but not the charm needed to make him worth investing in. The same goes for his nemesis Loffler, who lacks the mystique to make for an effective threat.

Still, Primal hits most of the beats it needs to, and this will be enough for some viewers. Those with an affinity for budget action movies may get some value out of the movie’s setup or the cat-and-mouse game between Loffler and the survivors. But the execution quality leaves plenty to be desired, and Primal finds itself badly outclassed by thrillers that put their premises to better use. Most viewers will want to steer clear.

For a science fiction survival horror movie with better atmosphere, character development, and scares, try Alien. For a tongue-in-cheek action movie with a similar premise, try Snakes on a Plane. For a sci-fi action movie with similar flaws, check out Doom: Annihilation.

4.8 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 5.0 for a decent premise made mediocre by its execution.

Today’s quick review: Riot. Disgraced cop Jack Stone (Matthew Reese) gets his chance at revenge when he ends up in prison with Balam Mogilevich (Chuck Liddell), the Russian mobster who killed his life. To get past Balam’s security, Jack will need the help of William (Dolph Lundgren), a quiet prisoner who knows more than he lets on. Meanwhile, reporter Trisha Sinclair (Renny Grames) works to expose Balam’s illegal dealings using evidence left by Jack.

Riot is a budget action movie set in a maximum security prison. Riot follows Jack Stone as he fights his way through hostile inmates and corrupt guards to get his shot at the man who ruined his life. Prison brawls where Jack gets to show off his fighting prowess give the movie its complement of action, while the plot has more going on than the typical budget flick. Unfortunately, Riot lacks the craftsmanship it needs to build much on this foundation.

Riot suffers from clumsy storytelling. Needless flashbacks make the plot more confusing than it needs to be. An oversized supporting cast makes the movie feel scattered and unfocused. Abrupt revelations try to ratchet up the drama without going through the appropriate setup. None of these flaws cripple Riot as badly as some of its low-budget competition, but they do mean that some promising plot threads never have the impact they’re supposed to.

Riot is a decent pick for fans of budget action movies and a lackluster one for anyone else. Riot’s competent stunt work and prison brawls carve out a narrow niche for it in a crowded genre, while the plot has just enough going on to keep the movie interesting. But its flawed storytelling and mediocre overall quality keep it from having any real advantage over its competition, and anyone looking for more than basic action will want to give it a pass.

For a martial arts action movie set in a brutal prison, try Kickboxer: Retaliation. For an action movie about escape from a maximum security prison, try Escape Plan. For a more character-focused prison drama, try The Last Castle.

5.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 5.5 for decent action, a serviceable plot, and mixed overall execution.