Month: June 2019

“I guess you gotta face your demons sometime.” —John

Today’s quick review: Doom. Responding to a distress call from a research station on Mars, Sarge (Dwayne Johnson) and his team of Marines find that the station has been overrun by hostile creatures. It falls to them to secure the station before any of the creatures can reach Earth. Complicating matters for John (Karl Urban), one of Sarge’s men, is his own connection to the base: his estranged sister Samantha (Rosamund Pike) is one of the scientists there.

Doom is a sci-fi action horror movie based on the video game of the same name. Doom aims to cross the tension and scares of a survival horror movie with the gun-toting action of a video game. Unfortunately, it gets caught somewhere in the middle. Doom lacks the atmosphere needed to make good on the horror aspects of the movie, the creativity needed for its action to shine, and the plot and characters needed to let its story carry the weight.

On the horror front, Doom gets the basic mechanics right but not how they fit together. The Marines spend the early parts of the movie creeping down the narrow corridors of the research station, trying to get a bead on the creatures that are lurking nearby. The movie manages a few scares, but the samey environments and clumsy monsters keep it from building up any real tension. Doom goes through the motions of horror but never grasps its spirit.

The last third of the movie sees the action come to the fore. The surviving Marines have a clear enough picture of what they’re up against to take the fight to the creatures. The transition is abrupt but satisfying. The suspense disappears almost completely in favor of gory action. The last few combat sequences show more care and creativity than anything else in the film, although they aren’t enough to make up for the film’s many weaknesses.

As for the story, Doom has little to offer. The plot revolves around an ancient city found on Mars and the question of what killed its inhabitants. The answers prove to be uninspired, although the movie does have a few good ideas tucked away here and there. John and Samantha are flat but functional characters, but Sarge is a missed opportunity. He’s too ruthless to be likable and too central to the team to serve as an antagonist.

Watch Doom if you’re in the mood for action horror and don’t mind sacrificing some quality to get it. The movie gets stuck between two competing visions and lacks the skill to pull off either one well. Still, as a source of raw suspense and action, Doom is a passable pick. For better execution of a similar premise, check out the Alien franchise. For another action horror movie with more creativity, check out Priest.

5.2 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.0 for decent actiotn but little else.

Today’s quick review: Rampage. Davis Okoye (Dwayne Johnson), a San Diego primatologist, faces a new kind of challenge when George (Jason Liles), the albino gorilla he cares for, is exposed to a chemical that grows the gorilla to enormous size and drives him berserk. Aided by Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris), a scientist who helped develop the chemical, Davis must find a way to stop George before his rampage claims any more lives.

Rampage is a sci-fi action movie based on the video game of the same name. Rampage pits Davis, Kate, and the US Army against a trio of creatures that have been modified by illegal genetic experimentation. The movie features an over-the-top premise, robust special effects, and plenty of action. However, its script and its characters leave something to be desried, turning what could have been a great action film into merely a good one.

Rampage’s biggest draw, appropriately enough, is its monsters. A gorilla, a wolf, and an alligator are all exposed to the chemical, turning each one into a giant engine of destruction. The bulk of the movie’s action involves the creatures plowing through soldiers, buildings, and anything else in their way while shrugging off bombs and bullets. For his part, Dwayne Johnson is right at home with the creatures, able to hold his own without upstaging them.

Still, Rampage holds few surprises. The movie plays its premise straight through with no real twists. The high body count and lack of jokes make it more serious than one might expect, although Davis and George have a fun dynamic before the latter’s transformation. Few of the characters are likable, and the human villains (Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy), a pair of corrupt executives responsible for the outbreak, are almost nonentities.

Rampage makes for a fine popcorn watch for fans of large-scale destruction, but it misses the chance to be something more. Slight tweaks to the plot logic, characters, and tone would have yielded a fuller realization of the movie’s vision. As it stands, Rampage makes good on its promise of monster-centric action but offers little more. For other action movies in a similar vein, check out Pacific Rim, Kong: Skull Island, or Transformers.

6.4 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 to 7.0 for solid action with a few missed opportunities.

Today’s quick review: Wreck-It Ralph. Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly), the villain of an old arcade game, is tired of being an outcast. To win acceptance, he sets out from his arcade machine to become the hero of another game. After some wandering, he ends up in Sugar Rush, a candy-flavored racing game, where he finds an unlikely friend in Vanellope Von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman), a young girl with dreams of becoming a racer.

Wreck-It Ralph is an animated comedy adventure from Disney. Wreck-It Ralph imagines a world where video game characters are real people with their own dreams and concerns. Thematically, the story is about friendship, belonging, and accepting one’s lot in life. Colorful CGI, a talented vocal cast, a fun script, and a subtly inspiring soundtrack give the movie all the quality it needs. How it stacks up against Disney’s other offerings comes down to taste.

Wreck-It Ralph is a tribute to the history of video games. Its heart lies with the arcade cabinets of the 80s: Ralph himself is patterned after Donkey Kong, and much of the film’s early humor riffs on the look, sound, and rules of early video games. From there Wreck-It Ralph ventures into more recent genres, such as first-person shooters and 3D racing games. The movie also slips in plenty of cameos that range from Sonic the Hedgehod to Q*bert.

Wreck-It Ralph takes a while to come into its own. The first hour introduces Ralph, his world, and his misguided attempts to fit in. The story is charming and fun, but it lacks direction. Once Ralph gets established in Sugar Rush, that changes. Vanellope’s quest gives him and the film a sense of purpose, and the ending manages to tie together several separate plot threads. Still, the story takes a back seat to the characters for most of the film.

Watch Wreck-It Ralph when you’re in the mood for something fun, innocent, and sweet. Its plot structure is less direct than the usual Disney film, but its world and characters are enough to make it a delight to watch. Skip it if you dislike family comedies or sentimentality. For a partially live-action movie that goes in the opposite direction with its video game love, check out Ready Player One.

7.7 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 to 7.5 for a unique premise, charming humor, and heart.

Today’s quick review: Ready Player One. Decades in the future, Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan), a high school student living in poverty, takes refuge in the OASIS, a massive virtual reality world. Together with his best friend Aech, Wade spends his days searching for Halliday’s Egg, a treasure hidden in the OASIS by its founder. Wade catches his first break when he meets Art3mis (Olivia Cooke), a fellow hunter who inspires him to try a new approach.

Ready Player One is a sci-fi action adventure based on the novel by Ernest Cline and directed by Steven Spielberg. The movie depicts a future where virtual reality has become the main form of entertainment. Ready Player One boasts top-notch special effects, a rich setting, a fast-paced plot, and a light tone. However, its mediocre leads, blunt pop culture references, and patchwork world make it hit-or-miss.

The plot revolves around the hunt for Halliday’s Egg, an Easter egg worth a fortune left in the OASIS by its eccentric founder James Halliday (Mark Rylance). Wade, Aech, and a dwindling group of Halliday fans pore over the clues he left behind in hopes of discovering the Egg’s location. Their efforts are opposed by Innovative Online Industries, an enormous corporation that intends to use its nigh-unlimited resources to claim the Egg for itself.

Ready Player One is a pop culture fever dream fueled by nerd culture and 80s nostalgia. Halliday’s tastes in movies and video games are reflected in the clues leading to the Egg and the OASIS as a whole. The virtual reality world lets the film indulge in everything from brief references to entire sequences that riff on other games and movies. The result is an enthusiastic but eclectic mosaic of homages, in-jokes, and product placement.

As for its story, Ready Player One is a pure teen adventure. The movie spends its time on action, comedy, and plot in roughly equal measure. Wade and his friends have all the enthusiasm of youth, and their personal drama never gets too heavy. The video game-inspired action sequences take advantage of the freeform nature of the OASIS and the film’s own enormous special effects budget. The plot, although somewhat lengthy, gets moving quickly.

However, Ready Player One has a few core weaknesses that hurt its watchability. Wade makes for an indifferent protagonist, and his clumsiness around Art3mis is more awkward than endearing. The characters’ CGI avatars straddle the line between fantasy and realism; where the supporting cast’s more cartoonish avatars work just fine, Wade and Art3mis have more detailed models that get caught squarely in the Uncanny Valley.

More generally, Ready Player One mashes together pieces that don’t necessarily fit. Every now and then the film evokes fannish glee at the appearance of a beloved character or vehicle, but each new cameo deals a blow to the film’s immersion. Ready Player One puts in the time and effort to flesh out its setting and its characters, but they often end up competing for attention against the barrage of references.

The result is an ambitious but uneven movie that gets mixed results. For younger viewers and those willing to overlook the rough spots, Ready Player One is an exciting adventure and a far-reaching tribute to video games. For those hoping for great characters or a smooth ride, Ready Player One may come as a disappointment. For a punchy action comedy with video game influences and a more distinctive style, check out Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

7.8 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 for an inventive premise, solid action, and high production values held back by its middling characters and sheer variety; your score will vary.

“Guns don’t kill people, but they sure help!” —Hertz

Today’s quick review: Shoot ‘Em Up. Smith (Clive Owen), a carrot-munching sharpshooter, steps in to save a pregnant woman from armed thugs. The woman dies after giving birth, leaving Smith with a newborn baby that a deranged hitman named Hertz (Paul Giamatti) has been hired to kill. With the help of Donna (Monica Bellucci), a lactating prostitute, Smith must keep the baby safe while trying to unravel the mystery of who wants it dead.

Shoot ‘Em Up is a tongue-in-cheek action movie packed with violence and lowbrow humor. The premise is dead simple: Smith must shoot his way through dozens of henchmen to save the life of a newborn child. Shoot ‘Em Up uses this premise as a springboard for an absurd plot and non-stop action. However, the film’s explicit content limits its appeal. Many viewers will find it too vulgar for their tastes, hurting its status as a carefree romp.

Shoot ‘Em Up takes the action genre to new extremes. Within the first five minutes, Smith shoots through an umbilical cord and drives a carrot through a man’s skull. This proves to be a tone-setter. The movie contains every gun stunt conceivable, ranging from the clever to the idiotic, and Smith solves almost all of his problems with bullets. The gunplay is fast and loose, and what it lacks in plausibility, it makes up for in imagination.

However, the high-octane action is offset by the film’s vulgarity. Apart from the usual swearing and violence, Shoot ‘Em Up indulges in crass jokes, explicit sexual content, and other forms of filth. The epitome of the grimy side of the film is Hertz himself, a personally repulsive and morally bankrupt character. Those unwilling or unable to overlook the vulgarity should stay far away from Shoot ‘Em Up.

The explicit content ties into another aspect of the film: Shoot ‘Em Up verges on deconstruction. It embraces the excesses of the action genre and subverts them. The sex is more perverse than alluring. The violence is as absurd as it is thrilling. Smith is not just a loner but an antisocial bum with a hair-trigger temper. Hertz is not just a villain but a monster. Shoot ‘Em Up is laced with irony, although most of it is blunt.

Try out Shoot ‘Em Up if you’re an action fan with a high tolerance for filth. Shoot ‘Em Up is a twisted love letter to the action genre that has narrow appeal. Those who enjoy it will get a lot out of its sheer ridiculousness, but most viewers should give it a miss. For an over-the-top action movie that tries something similar, try Crank. For the first-person equivalent, try Hardcore Henry. For a cleaner, more stylish action film, check out John Wick.

6.7 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 to 7.0 for inventive action hurt by the film’s grime.

Today’s quick review: Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment. With only a month to turn around his failing precint, Captain Pete Lassard (Howard Hesseman) takes on six new police recruits (Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf, Michael Winslow, Bruce Mahler, and Marion Ramsey) to clean up the neighborhood. Seeing his chance at a promotion, Lieutenant Mauser (Art Metrano), the watch commander, does everything in his power to make sure they fail.

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment is a police comedy about a group of oddball police officers. Police Academy 2 picks up shortly after the first film. The cadets have graduated the academy and are ready to tackle real police work. Most of the cast of the first film returns, but the new location gives the sequel the chance to experiment at the periphery. However, a weaker script keeps it from living up to its predecessor.

Police Academy 2 gets most of its humor from its offbeat characters. Led by affable prankster Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg), the officers apply their dubious talents to rooting out a street gang led by the eccentric Zed (Bob Goldthwait). They are joined by Pete Lassard, their put-upon police captain, and Lieutenant Mauser, his treacherous right-hand man. The gags are quick and frequent, but many of them sail wide of the mark.

Police Academy 2 is a step down from the first film. The new additions to the cast are not as memorable or well-developed as the characters they replaced. The plot is less cohesive, a string of loosely connected gags that shucks what little drama the first film had. The jokes earn some laughs, thanks mainly to the antics of Carey Mahoney and Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), but it lacks the punch of a truly effective comedy.

Watch Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment when you’re in the mood for something light, fun, and relatively mindless. The movie never quite hits its stride, either comedically or as a story, but what’s there is enough to entertain. For a sillier flavor of police humor, check out the Naked Gun movies. For an underdog comedy in a similar vein, try Animal House, Stripes, or Major League.

5.7 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for decent humor missing the liveliness of the original.

Today’s quick review: Erased. Security expert Ben Logan (Aaron Eckhart) lives in Antwerp with his teenage daughter Amy (Liana Liberato). Ben becomes the target of a cover-up when he learns that the company he works for has been using him to crack CIA security devices. With no record of his existence and trained killers gunning for him, Ben must figure out who set him up and why, all while keeping Amy out of harm’s way.

Erased is an action thriller with a father-daughter twist. The plot involves stolen CIA documents, a shady businessman with secrets to hide, and Ben Logan himself, an American expat who’s trying to patch up his relationship with his daughter. Erased offers a better plot than most budget thrillers, as well as a fair amount of action and a pair of simple but well-drawn leads. However, it’s missing the polish needed to really shine.

Erased’s best feature is its plot. The movie opens with a compelling hook: Ben learns his entire job is a lie, and now he’s been marked for death. From there, Erased gradually reveals pieces of the puzzle until Ben has the whole picture. The answers he finds aren’t anything special, but the plot progression is sensible and the film does a good job of turning its premise into a full, coherent story.

Beyond its plot, Erased is middle-of-the-road. The action is competent but never really the focus. Ben has a neat bag of tricks when it comes to evasion and survival, but he never tips over into a full-blown action hero. The father-daughter dynamic is strong enough to hold the movie together, but it’s not as moving as it might have been. In general, Erased avoids any major mistakes but never really does more than the basics.

Give Erased a watch when you’re in the mood for a cleanly executed thriller. It’s not the best choice for sheer action or true drama, but between its fine characters and its well-considered plot, it’s a decent popcorn watch. For a grittier action thriller, try Taken. For a thriller with more action and a more elaborate plot, try The Bourne Identity. For another action thriller with a father-daughter story and a similar budget, try 3 Days to Kill.

6.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 for decent action and a solid plot.

Today’s quick review: A Quiet Place. One year after the Earth is overrun by creatures who hunt by sound, Lee Abbott (John Krasinski), his wife Evelyn (Emily Blunt), and their children (Millicent Simmonds and Noah Jupe) are among the few survivors. The family grows their own food, scavenges what they can, and avoids making any noise that might attract the creatures. But their tenuous safety is shattered when one of the creatures finds them.

A Quiet Place is a survival thriller with horror elements. A Quiet Place depicts a dangerous world where the slightest sound means death. The movie mixes grounded family drama, smart cinematography, and raw suspense. The creatures are impossibly fast hunterse with sensitive hearing and impenetrable skin. The only way to survive an encounter with one is to hide in silence until the creature moves on.

A Quiet Place wrings a surprising amount of tension out of this simple premise. The most overt tension occurs when the creatures are stalking through the house, listening for their prey. But even the quieter moments hold an implicit threat: a single noise can spell disaster. The film does a skillful job of managing its tension. The early parts of the film set the stage for what is to come, and the immediate danger is broken up by short reprieves.

The other half of the equation is family. A Quiet Place takes the time to establish its characters and how they depend on one another. The Abbotts are a close-knit family trying to survive in a harsh world. The tensions between them are justified, but their love is even stronger. The film’s investment in its characters pays off in suspense that actually means something. There are no superfluous characters, so every brush with the creature is significant.

A Quiet Place ties it all together with sound. The film pays close attention to its sound profile, clearly tracking every creak, sigh, or footfall, so that the audience can feel just when the characters are at risk. The Abbotts rarely speak out loud, communicating instead through sign language and facial expression. The film’s soundtrack is sparse and muted. The result is an engrossing watch that conveys a lot with few words.

A Quiet Place does have a few shortcomings. The individual scenes are tense and imaginative, but taken together the pattern becomes clear. The creatures’ tendency to linger nearby means that any safety the characters earn is temporary, whether or not they manage to stay quiet. The Abbotts also make a couple of mistakes in their response to the creature, although their many smart decisions more than make up for them.

Try out A Quiet Place if you’re interested in finely crafted suspense with an unusual amount of heart. Its unique premise and impressive craftsmanship make it a worthwhile watch for anyone willing to brave its unnerving creatures and heavy tone. Skip it if you’re looking for overt horror, action, or schlock. For a survival movie with more action and a similar tone, check out I Am Legend.

8.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.5 for high tension, polished presentation, and a strong emotional core.

“The hardest choices require the strongest wills.” —Thanos

Today’s quick review: Avengers: Infinity War. Thanos (Josh Brolin) seeks the Infinity Stones, six objects with the power to reshape the universe. Led by Captain America (Chris Evans), the heroes of Earth mount a desperate defense to protect the last of the Stones. Meanwhile, Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.) ventures into space to attack Thanos at the heart of his power, and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) hunts for a weapon capable of killing the would-be god.

Avengers: Infinity War is a superhero movie that ties together plot threads from across the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The culmination of a decade of build-up, Infinity War pits Marvel’s collected heroes against Thanos, a powerful alien conquerer with designs on omnipotence. The movie boasts top-notch special effects, non-stop action on an enormous scale, and a sprawling ensemble cast that includes nearly every Marvel hero so far.

Infinity War is a superhero team-up writ large. The cast numbers in the dozens and contains the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, multiple solo heroes, and a host of supporting characters. The plot shuffles the heroes into groups and sends them after different targets, each one crucial to defeating Thanos. The new character pairings and the calamitous events of the story show a new side to many of the film’s heroes.

Thanos is the glue that holds the movie together. Easily the most powerful villain in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thanos is a threat worthy of the many heroes arrayed against him. His warped morality puts a fascinating spin on his ambition, while his nuanced relationship with his daughter Gamora (Zoe Saldana) is an unexpected gem. Throughout it all, Thanos’ calm dominance makes him the focal point of every scene he’s in and the movie as a whole.

These virtues do come with a cost: Infinity War makes for an incredibly heavy watch. Marvel’s trademark humor is still present, but in smaller doses than usual, and the tone remains serious throughout. The film also doesn’t shy away from killing its characters. Combined with the cosmic scope of Thanos’ plan and the moral dilemmas the heroes face, this gives Infinity War much higher stakes and a much more dramatic tone than anything that has come before it.

The other price Infinity War pays is its complexity. Each character receives only a fraction of the screen time they would in a solo film. In that brief period of time, the movie has to squeeze in old character threads, new ones, exposition, comedy, and action. While Infinity War does a skillful job of juggling its cast and making sure everyone has the chance to shine, not every character gets a full story arc, and the story can be hard to keep track of.

For those willing to brave its lengthy run time, its flurry of characters, and its dramatic tone, Avengers: Infinity War is a superhero movie of the highest caliber. Its scope, its polish, and its climactic story make it a must-see for anyone who has been following the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Those who haven’t may want to steer clear, as its plot depends heavily on the movies that came before it.

9.1 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 9.0 for the superhero genre at its grandest.

Today’s quick review: The Cat Returns. After saving the life of a mysterious cat, Haru (Anne Hathaway), an ordinary high school student, learns that the cat was actually the prince of the Cat Kingdom. In gratitude, the Cat King (Tim Curry) whisks her away to the Cat Kingdom to marry the prince she saved. To escape her unwanted engagement, Haru seeks the help of the Baron (Cary Elwes), an animated cat figurine who specializes in solving tricky problems.

The Cat Returns is a Japanese animated fantasy adventure from Studio Ghibli. The loose successor to Studio Ghibli’s earlier film Whisper of the Heart, The Cat Returns borrows the characters of the Baron and Muta (Peter Boyle) for another, unrelated adventure. The movie features beautiful animation, a colorful voice cast, and a breezy tone. However, its story and characters are a slight step down from Studio Ghibli’s best work.

Suitably enough, The Cat Returns’ biggest draw is its cats. The Cat Kingdom contains a cavalcade of anthropomorphic cats, ranging from courtiers and buffoons to its sleazy, self-absorbed king. The Baron himself is a dapper, polite gentleman who insists on helping Haru, while his enormous sidekick Muta serves as muscle and comic relief. Haru fits neatly into all the chaos, a diffident but tenacious girl who sees the magic of the Kingdom with fresh eyes.

Still, The Cat Returns is light on substance. Haru is a pleasant enough protagonist, but she undergoes little growth compared to, say, Chihiro from Spirited Away. The Baron works well as an ally, a companion, and a friend, but the film misses the chance to give him a story arc of his own. The result is a fun but shallow story that’s missing the extra layers of the best children’s fantasy.

Watch The Cat Returns when you’re in the mood for a light, kid-friendly fantasy in the vein of Alice in Wonderland or The Wizard of Oz. While its story isn’t quite rich enough to make it a classic, its inventive characters and upbeat tone make it an enjoyable experience. For a better take on a similar premise, check out Spirited Away. For a Studio Ghibli movie with less fantasy and more meaning, try Whisper of the Heart.

7.3 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 7.0 for a strong animation and a charming story that’s missing the superlative quality of Studio Ghibli’s other work.