Month: October 2017

Today’s quick review: The Great Wall. William (Matt Damon) and Tovar (Pedro Pascal) are the last survivors of a mercenary expedition to China to find the legendary black powder. What they find instead is a colossal wall guarded by the soldiers of the Nameless Order against the Tao Tei, a horde of monsters that threaten to overrun China. Caught in the middle of the conflict, the duo hatch a desperate plan to escape with the black powder and their lives.

The Great Wall is a historical fantasy action movie that tells of the secret purpose behind the Great Wall of China. The plot is simple enough: a pair of mercenaries are given the chance to become heroes by helping to defeat an army of deadly monsters. The script is uninspired, but its jokes hit more often than they miss. The special effects show signs of budget and polish, giving the action the visual support it needs.

The Great Wall excels in a few unexpected areas. The Chinese soldiers’ ornately detailed and richly colored armor makes for a striking visual spectacle. The siege weaponry used along the Wall is impressive in its scope, intricacy, and creativity, from the massive catapults to the pulley systems used to lower warriors into the fray. The soundtrack, while not particularly memorable, complements the action sequences well, particularly once the war drums start up.

As for the action itself, The Great Wall opts for slow motion combat, complex interactions, and a healthy dose of William’s archery. While hardly realistic, the action sequences have an excellent flow to them. The fights with the Tao Tei en masse are somewhat less exciting, but the one-on-one fights are interestingly choreographed, well-rendered, and competently presented.

The Great Wall’s merits stop there, however. The plot is predictable and short, and while it is executed well enough, it lacks a real sense of progression or escalation. The second half of the movie offers only one or two surprises over the first. The monster designs seem unique at first, but when several thousand of them are on screen at once, they quickly begin to feel generic.

The Great Wall is a fairly entertaining action movie that fails to build on its strengths. Fans of schlocky action could do worse than to give it a try. Between its action and its visuals, The Great Wall does bring something new to the table. But without the follow-through, The Great Wall offers little beyond the action basics. Anyone looking for a story or a memorable action classic should look elsewhere.

6.3 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.5 to 7.0 for entertaining action and visual spectacle held back by poor escalation and a weak plot.

Today’s quick review: Last Action Hero. Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien), a boy who lives with his mother in a poor part of New York City, spends his time watching action movies at the local theater. But when Frank (Art Carney), the owner of the theater, offers Danny a magic movie ticket, the boy finds himself transported into the world of the latest Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger) flick.

Last Action Hero is an action comedy that parodies the excesses of 80s and 90s action films. Last Action Hero indulges itself as much as it is possible for an action movie to, with unrealistic action, an unrealistic plot, and nearly every action convention in the book. At the same time, Last Action Hero offers a multifaceted look at the action genre itself, from the jokes at its expense to almost-touching musings on what it would be like to be a fictional character.

Last Action Hero is far more effective a parody than it has any right to be. In addition to its more overt jokes, Last Action Hero slips in some surprisingly smart and subtle gags, from tame-looking attack dogs dubbed with ferocious barks to the uniform contents of an action hero’s closet. Fans of the cheesy parts of the action genre will enjoy the way the movie embraces, parodies, and pays tribute to them, from its preposterous explosions to its superb one-liners.

But the backbone of the film is a kids’ adventure that never deviates too far from convention. Danny Madigan makes for a fine protagonist, but he could be swapped for any other child hero without any serious loss. All the dramatic or meaningful parts of the movie have the logic and idealism of a kids’ film, a step down from the subversive action movie they are wrapped around. The kid half of the movie is watchable, but the action half is superior.

Watch Last Action Hero if you are a fan of 80s- and 90s-style action. The kids’ movie plot can be something of a turn-off, a charming but uninteresting framework for the core of the film. But apart from this, Last Action Hero is an unexpectedly sharp and entertaining parody. Skip it if you dislike the quirks of the action genre.

6.2 out of 10 on IMDB. I give it a 6.0 for the kids’ movie aspects, a 7.5 for its action parody, and a 6.5 to 7.0 overall.